The affair ends here.
Love is a powerful force.
Throughout our entire lives, we’re told that romance is so powerful that it can overtake our sense of reason and change who we are from the outside in. Love can make a weak man strong, an anxious woman brave, and it can inspire us to do things we never believed were possible.
We eat these myths about love up — as if love that hurts, that feels like it’s against all odds, is the most important kind of love.
Of course, that’s BS, and it’s the kind of BS that leads to unrealistic expectations and a lifetime of trying to fix a broken relationship … which may have never been broken to begin with.
These two myths — that love is so powerful it can drive you to become someone you’re not, and the obsession with “impossible” love stories — contribute to a society where even the best people find themselves cheating, wondering how they got there, and trying to figure out why people cheat in the first place.
It’s easy to let those feelings become a little too strong. And it’s easy to give in to them, little by little, until you find yourself in an affair, either physical or emotional. You may not be the type of person who ever believed you would cheat on someone you love. But here you are.
So why do people cheat on people they love? And how can you stop having an affair (or stop the temptation), even when your feelings for someone else are powerful?
As someone who has cheated, and done a lot of work to figure out how and why I had an affair, I have some advice for you on how to resist temptation.
It’s going to take some work and commitment on your end to figure out how not to cheat.
But trust me, it is possible if you try these ten things:
1. Recognize that you do have a choice.
No matter what happens in movies and fairy tales, no matter how much people get swept away by romance, you do have a choice. Always.
Even if you can’t choose how you feel, you can choose how you behave.
Your focus will go back to your partner, and away from that other person, a little bit more every day and that will make it easier to fix your relationship in the ways that are necessary to save your marriage.
2. Remember that what you feed will grow.
You don’t have to be into woo-woo spiritual “law of attraction” stuff to believe that the things you put your attention, efforts, and energy into are the things that become bigger and more powerful.
Your temptation, as well as your passion for that other person, is no exception. You feed it, it will grow.